cooking and me

Cooking.

Yes, that's one of many things I definitely not good at. This is embarassing. Arghh. All my girls know how to cook, at least at one great dish. And I was like,"Wow...the best dish of all time. Hebat!". Bajet kagum giler. Padahal cooking is just as simple as... Nah. I'm kidding. Cooking is hard for me!

Bila tengok orang lain masak siap post bagai di facebook, aku sentap. Show off betul diorang ni. Haha. That's obviously my jealousy speaking! Truth is, I will always adore them,and will always be this envious person. Mau tak gelabah, ko dah besar panjang pun masih tak reti nak masak. I bet my bf is the unluckiest guy alive now. Poor u, man. My symphaties. Wuwuwu.

Apart of all that, I am now learning how to cook. Dan aku boleh gerenti kalau ada kelas masakan, I will be the first person to sign up. Gila desperate nak belajar masak. Ke desperate nak kahwin? Haha. Both I guess. Now, bangun pagi je terus online cari resepi, terus masak. Not bad lah aku masak. Sedap jugak kat tekak aku.*flip hair*

So sekurang- kurangnya aku tahu aku tak terlambat lagi nak belajar semua tu. In 2 years time, hopefully aku dah master lots of dish. Ok.

Cooking time!

Ps: And in the mean time, please do not gain anymore weight! Reminder to self.

berbuka

Last nite, having iftar with my besties. Compared to last year, this time around Ein cooked for us. Masakan yang sangat superb & boleh kahwin esok terus. Haha.

Eventhough this year xda nya lah nak buffet bagai, but it was such a great moment to remember. We had so much laugh...hilang stress aku.

Oh how i love these girls. Wuwuwuwu.

Tapi sebab makan kat rumah jak, xdalah mok dress up bagai. Siap pake seluar tracksuit gik la kawan aku.

So....

Not a single pictures taken. Rugi. Huh.

stay away

Rude.

U know how rude it is if u keep messing up with others life. Ada jak benda yang xkenak. Oh gosh. Please. My life is not that interesting pun yang orang nak kecoh xhabis2. Dem la u guys.

This is not fair to anyone la bah. Siapa pun i bet will hate this situation. Xperlu kot nak text one another to tell them how bitch i am. Contoh. Bhahaha.

Hey,maybe to you i am such a bitch, but i know myself well and how much people surrounds me knows me.

Bitch? I dont care. I still got my loved ones beside me. They are still there. BOOYAHHHH LOSER! Try another method next time will you?

Guys,lets be happy together.

Peace. Salam ramadhan. :)

welcoming sara

Last nisfu syaaban, I got another niece. What a blessed day. Really. 

And..how I wish one day I will have my own. In sya Allah. Tsk. Tsk.

There's so much pictures with my newborn niece in my phone actually. I can't never stop jadi camwhore bila dekat baby. Bhahaha. If aku upload banyak sangat pun akan jadi sangat annoying. Tahu.

football.

I watched football last night. With my besties. Haha. My first time went to football match cos sport is not my thing actually. I don't even know all those leagues. Stadium negeri pun aku masih bodo bodo lagi nak faham kat mana. Oh please. Tau tengok je...tau bersorak sampai sakit tekak. Posing bergambar pun dengan mafla pinjam. Bajet penyokong tegar la sangat.Bhahaha.

Waktu mula- mula sampai stadium,dah terliur okey ngan makanan yg dijual kat luar. Nampak macam yummy gila lah. Sakai. Haha. What a great experience I thought. Thanks besties sanggup heret aku masuk stadium. I love the food. And. I love u guys deeply. Serious. Awwww. Wahaha.

Masuk stadium pun dah 2nd half. We don't have tickets pun..xsempat beli. Semua dah sold out. All those people yang xdapat tiket pun macam menggila kat luar stadium. Yes,I got scared easily. Kecut perut dowh takut ada rusuhan. Phew. Me and my imaginations. I heard so many bad things dah la okay. Plus my bf will never let me go to crowded places. Takut aku mati kena pijak mungkin.  Haha.

Even so, we managed to watch sarawak score 3 gol waktu 2nd half. Oh yeah. Semangat ngap sayot. Kl lose. Boo. Dah rezeki bumi kenyalang kan. Harap jangan sentap. Peace yaw. Let us sarawakian lupa diri kejap.

Nota kaki: WIN OR LOSE,I AM PROUD TO BE SARAWAKIAN. :)

ikut trend

Wah. Dah lama xupdate. Almost forgot yang aku ada blog. I don't have interesting things to blog about pun. Just keep myself busy melayan all the social sites. Fyi,now i got instagram too. And the hell I keep thinking 'am I a photographer now?' *wink* since I don't even know how to take pictures. Tapi still nak jugak ada insta. Gila xsedar diri kan aku. Bhahaha. Dah jadi instagrammer,blur pulak nak share gambar apa. Nampak sangat beginner yang perlu rujuk instagram for dummies. Haha. Too bad I'm such an easily influenced by all those trends. Penat la kan nak melayan nafsu aku nih. Remember everyone was playing candy crush (and still). Then the next day,terus install. Hey,proud to be a candy crasher walaupun satu level tu pun seminggu jugak aku setelkan. Challenging konon. Stress nya lah aku. Yang tu candy crush. Aku fikir candy crush is not really just-a-game sebab setiap kali main makin stress,so I  tend to move on to a much simpler game which is Pou. Bajet memang xkan stress la kan layan game ni. And guys,look at me now. Pou is not for me. REALLY. I MEAN THIS. Layan Pou tiba2 nya lah aku merasa kesunyian + terbayang2 la meme forever alone. Wakakaka. Don't take me wrong guys. Pou is not my thing. Aku sendiri pun xterjaga. Ni kan pulak nak mengasihi alien pet. Hahaha. Forever alone........pftt. Kesian kat diri sendiri. Tettt.

turning 24

December 6th was my 24th birthday. Looking back on how my life as a 24-year-old should be, I think I'm still a little child inside. Haha. Can't never grow up, ha? I'm not a very successful person either, yet, I don't have any serious commitment aside from living the way I am now. I'm grateful to be alive, nuff said. The only thing I hoped for is that semoga segalanya dipermudahkan olehNya. Amin.

ps: Umo 30 aku nak kek bday 8 tingkat pulak. Set. :)

my skin is...

I have oily and ance-prone skin. That's why I have to be careful when it comes to skincare & cosmetic products. Tak semua produk kita boleh belasah je. Contoh, dulu aku try macam2 produk, konon nya nak cari yang paling sesuai. Last2, ambik kau...muka aku ni dah macam bahan uji kaji dah...pimple scars  are all over the place. Heh. Then I tried Oxy products, and it somehow cured my acne problems. Okay la jugak sebab scar tu dah hilang. And since I'm in my mid of 20s right now, I'm kinda scared of wrinkles & mula mementingkan healthy skin. Nak muka sentiasa awet muda gitu macam Rozita Che Wan. Hampeh. Haha. So I cross Oxy out. I tried different types of product. At first, try Bio-essence Tanaka White sebab kawan aku cakap muka dia jadi lembut, pori2 pun dah xnampak, halus, dan yang paling penting, aku nampak muka dia macam glowing...tegang semacam je. Huhu..tu yang aku gatal nak try jugak. Biasa la, perempuan. Tapi, the result kat aku macam tak berkesan sangat. Ala, xsesuai la tu. Now, I'm using ZA Total Hydration range. Macam ok je. I hope so. Sales assistant kat kedai tu pun cakap produk ni sesuai ngan skin type aku. Ntah ya ntah tidak. Tengok je la nanti. If it doesn't work out, I will just have to ban ZA too. Fuuuu.

noob

1 thing that people doesn't know about me is that I'm actually a social noob. I got Twitter & Fb account, but do I really connect to those so-called friends? Nope, I don't think so.

Online pun jarang2. Ada bb pun xde subscribe bb pakej. So, duduk je la diam2. I created my fb account simply because my friend asked me to.Twitter? I had it because of the trend. Haha. Jangan xda bak kata orang tek nak. I also bought bb cos that's in my wishlist since I'm 21. Yes, I got one already. Tapi......xde sorang pun member pakai bb jugak..so agak no point la having bbm and stuff. Pft. I will force my friends & family to buy bb also one day. So that boleh la aku bajet generasi Y. Hehe. Nak sangat layan bbm sampai muntah.

So right now, aku memang xde idea nak meracau kat fb or twitter. Status sangat la jarang aku update. Kalau update pun, aku macam invisible. My ex also keeps bashing me out in fb buatkan aku rasa menyampah nak online dah. Personally, aku lebih suka Twitter. Simple. Compact. Bold. And most importantly, I feel safe. There's no one yang boleh cakap aku itu, aku ini di Twitter. Am I right? Jangan ingat kita dah sempurna bila melihat yang lain dengan pandangan yang hina. Ok.

so-not-happy-saturday

Bengang. Upset. Today is not a good day eh? There's so much things going on in my life. Kalau benda2 best xpe la jugak, boleh la keep on smiling. Flying in the air punya mode. Tapi, kenyataan nya??? Hampa...oh no! Things didn't go my way- again. Someone, please save my soul. I need inspiration right now.

Facebook, done! Nothing interesting.
Twitter, checked! Not inspired enough.
Gossips? Beautifulnara, Ohbulan, Rotikaya...done. Aren't helping at all!
Friends?? Nope. I'm not in the mood to socialize & laugh at stupid jokes. Pftt.
Boyfriend?? ... He's one of the reasons why my Saturday is not a happy one. FAILED!

Oh ya. You know I pray days & nights, did everything I can just to undone things that happened between me and my bf. And yes. We're an item again. I'm grateful until we keeps argue over some stupid issues. That is when all of this 'bengang and upset' took place. Huh.

Youtube. Tiba2 teringat aritu ngan Got to Dance Uk 3 final stage and my jaws dropped watching Tayluer & Elliot's performance. Touched. Inspired. Goosebumps. That's what I felt watching those dancing fairies. Guess I need that kind of inspiration right now to save my Happy Saturday. Dahla. Aku ok. Kbai.

Lemons...lemonads....kind-of-stuff

I'm a not-so-positive-person since ages. And somehow, I'm kinda crave for quotes & sayings that make me have some piece of positive mind, especially when I realize sometimes life's beyond my fairytale fantasies. When life gives you lemons...make lemonade...yeah, something like that. Pftt.

Demm. These helps for now I think sebab aku sesak dah nih.

"We are always looking for something better that we sometimes fail to realize that we already have the best."
"Never let any of your fears or insecurities stop you from living your life."
"Being single doesn't mean you're not too good to be with the right one, it means you're just too good to be with the wrong one."
"Life is good, life is great. Always love & never hate. Break the rules, stand apart. Ignore your head and follow your heart."

...

Ramadhan...

To all Muslims out there,

HAPPY RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK!

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w:

“Telah tiba kepada kamu bulan Ramadan, iaitu bulan yang penuh keberkatan. ALLAH telah mewajibkan ke atas kamu agar berpuasa pada bulan itu.” ­- Hadis riwayat Imam Ahmad di dalam Musnadnya , hadis no: 9133.

Cons of blog walking

Tadi, sengaja je aku blog walking. Nak carik blog yang ada tutorial nak bagi mantap blog aku ni. Mantap di sini maksudnya seiring dengan usia tua aku ye. Mantap yang boleh bagi aku rajin keje2 update nih. Hahaha. Bukan comel yang siap ada bling2, kelip2 berterbangan, marquee sini and sana tu tau. Then, terjumpa la satu blog ni. Wah, sangat canteeekkkkk and terbaeeeekkk punya. Huhuhu. Jeles dowh. Aku yang siap study coding2 programming dulu pun tak seexpert tu. Hmmm.

Pastu jumpa blog yang ada madah2 cinta, jiwang2 punya type.

Bahagianya mereka ea. Teringat eh ngan nya. Hampeh! Close tab cepat2.

Kali ni jeles & upset. Aiyooo...

Done. Tak nak dah blog walking!

If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. I know!

Another breakup prove I'm not even close to be the luckiest girl alive. Fuck love. I'm kinda hate to be myself right now. Pathetic! Is there any good and wise man left out there for me? Sebab mostly spesis lelaki baik semuanya taken already. Hampeh. Beruntung lah sesiapa yang dah jumpa their own other half. Sumpah, aku takkan kacau hak orang.

I wrote about him in the blog, bragged like I've found the one. Nah. He's apparently not created for me. We had so much fun together and I really thought this will last at least for a year. We want different things in life and somehow we're just completely two different persons. I like myself when I was with him. Until at some point, I keep wanting more. Like seriously, is this the end of us?? Obviously I blame myself for this breakup. I am a hard-to-please bitch. Rare spesis aku ni. What to do kannnnn. Even so, he finally called it off. I'm losing my boyfriend - again! Baru aku faham maksud lagu Ombak Rindu tu. Pfttt.

Ironinya, aku yang frust gila *lap2 air mata*. Cliche dowh aku mopping around when people left me. It's just the thing that I know how to do best whenever life fucked me harder. :'(

I know I'm stupid enough waiting for him.
Hush! Keep your thoughts to yourself, smart people. I'm literally dying here!

Huh.

...    *speechless*   ...

God, I know I've been asking a lot - way a lot - from You. I'm sorry I just find You when I'm in a mess. I'm sorry for not being a good person. But then again, I keep seeking You asking for more. God, please protect him. Keep him away from fake and untrue people. Bless him with good health and true happiness. If he's not for me, please throw this feelings away from my heart. But if there's still a bit love for me inside his heart, please bring back those feelings just as strong as it used to be. I know I'm asking a lot now. I know if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. I just have faith in You. Nuff said. Amin.

"I'm wanted by some. I'm taken by none. I'm looking at many, but I will wait for one."

S.O.S

Life is insane, memang selalunya macam tu la kan? Pftt. Kalau tak insane, xthrill la kot. Haha. I'm not saying that life should be hard to some people. I know our life should be better. Kan banyak peribahasa Melayu yang sentuh pasal hidup ni. Should we just embrace that instead of being negative, am I right? Duh, I'm not sure either. Susah nak instill dalam diri supaya sentiasa berfikiran super positif.

Aku dah sah-sah la envy ngan orang yang selalu positif ni. Diorang selalu nampak kebaikan je, yang negatif diorang tolak tepi. Tapi bagi aku, this is what I called insane. Aku selalu je berfikiran negatif. I just can't help it. Hehe.Sebab tu la kot Allah bagi kesukaran dan dugaan kat aku. Dia hanya nak menguji. Dah memang kerja Dia la kan? I'm grateful for what He had given me.How to save my own soul then? Memang la the most correct answer is doing spiritual stuff like baca Quran, pray, berzikir and so on. I know! Other than perkara-perkara yang dilisted out kat atas, my friends mostly turn to Youtube and social networks. WIN! Is this how to save one's soul in this hi-tech century? Haha.

ps: Check out this lyric vid.

Fighting!

I'm JOBLESS! Ada scroll degree pun, kalau jobless xguna jugak..kankankan??? Huhuhu. Pathetic me being a fresh graduate without any career planning. What have I done in the past three valuable years, ha? Tengok, baru nak sedar apa perkataan "valuable" really means. Pfttt.

Damn, no regret, please!

Everyday makan, tdo, tengok tv, texting bf aku..eh..exercise jap - takut gemuk mode - makan lagi, tido lagi, tengok tv sampai dah nak muntah. All the tv's schedule pun, aku dah boleh ingat. All of them! Gila ar. I am in a seriously envious condition to those who already manage to earn their own money. Sekarang ni, kalau tengok duit merah tu pun, boleh meleleh air liur aku...uwaaaa..

To comfort my own feelings, I told myself 'belum ada rezeki' so many times. And now, I guess my own heart doesn't seem to believe me anymore. It rather says, 'No pain, no gain' to my brain, which obviously change the way I look at myself. Since my final result didn't turn out as good as I expected, I see myself in a different way now. It was such a great wake-up call to me. Maybe I had forgotten to stay grounded and be grateful enough for every kurniaan-Nya. My final result? Nah...I let this one go - easily. No pressure, cos I know I'm not a failure. I had a great years before, gained everything without even have to work hard to earn them. And now, I had to work harder to earn them back. To earn the feelings I had before. To always feel good about myself and make my loved ones proud.

Btw, I really miss my boyfriend. Glad I can call him that after all of the struggles. Despite all the differences, I've decided to work things out between us. Always hoping this relationship will ended with happiness for both of us. Even though marriage is the one last thing I can hope for, I'm glad I love him even more everyday. *blush*

2012 is coming

I'm writing this entry while waiting for our own celebration of New Year's Eve. Seriously, a celebration? Nah, don't think so. This is way too far from celebrations I used to have. Yes, I miss my hometown and everything I left behind a.k.a family and closest friends. Orang lain outing tengok konsert, tapi aku ngadap laptop, pening fikir pasal assignments. There's still so much things to do. *headache*

My friends updated their Facebook status, saying this and that. Tak jeles dowh. But me, erm...still thinking about my dinner. -_- Pity myself. How I wish I was at home doing BBQ and stuff. Also watching my mom sleeps pun aku dah puas ati. Well, New Year la sangat. Hehehe.

Just like years before, of course I have resolutions. And each year, I have tons of unresolved ones. Hmmm..thinking why should I make the new list when the unresolved list tu pun tak settle lagi. So, jangan berani nak bermimpi sampai ke bintang; only Elfira Loy & Randy Pangalila are allowed to do that.

Ok, this upcoming 2012, I just hope world's not end yet. Pfttt.

Until then, I wish my life would be better. I pray for my (and his) happiness and health as well.

Yuna - Penakut

Song that reflect my thoughts. Waahhh..marveloussss...

Credit: SNhazWaNi

Thank you

Wah...this christmas was meaningful to me. Alamak, ayat xbleh blah. Sorry, it's not that I've celebrated it. But, more like things happened coincidentally. On 25th December. *senyum sampai telinga* Hehehe.

Kitak, I love you so much. Thanks for saying those meaningful words to me. I appreciate them even kita xcouple pun. Thanks jugak sebab kau selalu ada. Ala, macam lagu Hujan tu. Eh no. Now I listen to Carta Hati by Najwa Latif. The song for you. Perfect.

When I met you, it's like a fairytale to me. You're just so perfect eventhough you never said you are. But for me, this is perfection. This is what I always want. You. Damn, I know this will hurt me some day. Why I'm being so strong padahal cepat je sentap. Hahaha.

Wait.

Before I thank him, I should thank my dearest Allah la kan. Wei, damn me. Lupa pulak pada yang satu. Ya Allah, thank you for making him mine, even this is just for a while. Thanks for giving me a strong heart for loving someone who is impossible to love me back. I'm sorry if I only turn to you when I'm in a mess. It's not that I ever forget my creator. I know, no excuses. What a lousy hamba am I. T_T #Hopes and dreams.

New beginning....

Hey..its been a while..A WHILE ENOUGH I'm not into journals. I'm messing up my damn life and obviously I don't need to be reminded about the whole thing. Someone told me (my ex actually) this: "Tulis hanya yang indah2". And I was like, "My life isn't that INDAH, or how i wish it could be INDAH when I only had myself to rely on!". Indah la sanggggatttt kann...

No, I'm not a loner...hahaha...saja jak bha mk emo..

Ok, this is important. I've deleted all my entries before, just because I've had enough. Enough to let myself growing up. Pfttt.

Journals...mainly about love life. Biasala kan..kita nie perempuan. Tapi, hey...this is my journals. Not only about my fucking love life. Not only about my sweet-unperfect family. This is my story. MY JOURNEY. Mess with Eda's life and you will be in this journals. (Just don't mind my broken English, least I've tried). Hehehe.
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So, beware!
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If Taylor Swift wrote songs about her breakups, I will cursing my exes in this journals - just because I can't sing as good as her la, obviously! Duh~